come to mama
The day you looked me in my eyes and told me you loved me, I felt so safe. It was one of the most warmest and sincere moments I had ever had. I gave you the one thing that was most special to me, what I had kept for so long. I felt that then and there at that moment and time, you were worth it. You had earned it, and it was yours. From that day on my heart was yours. As days passed you reminded me each and every day over and over again why I cherished you so much. From our countless hours we spent talking on the phone laughing about how weird I am. Or to the nights where we would argue hard, and cry even harder together on the phone… But no matter what, we would always make sure that we NEVER went to bed mad at one another. Those were the days where I felt like you cared. Those were the days where I felt like I mattered. Those were the days that you fought with me. THOSE WERE THE DAYS WHERE I TRULY FELT LIKE YOU LOVED ME & it was you and me no matter what, ride or die till the end. If you had gone to jail, I would have been still to this day answering all your phone calls, writing you countless letters, and visiting you any and every visit I could. After you cheated on me for the first time and I didn’t let you come stay with me and you had to go live with your moms friend… If you really wouldn’t had been able to stay with him, I would have sucked it up and let you come live with me. The night I got accepted to and turned down my DREAM school all in a matter of 2 hours, was because the only thing I could think about is what about you. Life is all about sacrifices, right? Especially if its for the one you love. Besides the countless times we have had makeup sex, or the countless times you would just say “hold me” and then kiss me on my forehead and we would fall asleep holding one another and then everything would be okay…. After all of that. After everything we have worked past and worked for… Where are we now? We have both come to a point of exhaustion in the relationship where we cant even sleak or bare to look at one another… Why couldn’t it just be us? Where did our memories go. Where did our psycho car video nights go? Where did your goofy awkward fart moments go? Where did the love go? It left. Because its not only us. The moment you let someone else in our circle, it no longer was a circle, the closing of the circle disconnected and it became an open doorway. To let anyone into our world… THAT WE FOUGHT AND WORKED HARD TO CREATE TOGETHER:( you let them into our personal space. Eventually the inside of the circle got so crowded and filled with other women, our arguments, and bullshit…that I somehow got lost in it.
And you forgot about me, and the true meaning of our love and this relationship, and let me get ran over and smushed by the stamped of negativity that was trying to weigh down on us when I was the only positive thing trying to keep us afloat and keep the door to the circle closed. I couldn’t keep it closed by myself, it needed both of our strength. But you pushed me out the way an opened our circle to them. And now I am left here, ran over, alone … And forgotten.